A divorce is one of the most stressful experiences in a person’s life. It is especially more challenging when children are involved. Children are often the unfortunate victims of a divorce. Usually, they don’t want their parents’ relationship to end. They are worried about what is going to happen to them. Will I have to move? What if Mom or Dad has a new boyfriend or girlfriend? What if they don’t like me? Can I somehow get my Mom and Dad to change their minds? Did I do something to make them get a divorce? Just remember to keep your behavior in check and do what’s best for them. It is often difficult but is very necessary. You want to foster a loving and healthy bond with your children even though you were not able to save your marriage. The following are several things you must not do to your children during divorce you do not want to unintentionally hurt your children.
Do Not Have Your Children “In The Middle” of the Divorce.
You shouldn’t question your child about the activities of the other spouse as a way of gaining ammunition against your “ex” or just because you’re prying. Ask your “ex” directly if you really want to know something. It puts your child in the middle and may make them feel they should lie to the other parent. Your children are not negotiating tools or bargaining chips that you can use to cause harm to your spouse. You should strive not to put them between you and the person you are divorcing. Do not expect your children to handle adult conversations, especially if they aren’t near to adulthood.
Do Not Put the Other Parent Down In Front of the Children
It is never a good idea to talk negatively about the other parent in front of the kids. This is a very difficult rule to follow as many divorcing people are hurt, bitter and angry and want to make sure their soon-to-be former spouse knows they feel this way. It is important not to threaten or antagonize the other parent and not to talk about your issues on social media as this information can be used against you. Just remember talking negatively about your spouse makes your child uncomfortable and sad.
Do Not Pit Them Against the Other Parent
If children are forced to choose sides, it can make co-parenting a complicated and difficult task and make the children feel guilty. Typically, kids benefit from the presence of both parents. They do not benefit—and indeed can be harmed—when one of their parents portrays the other in a relentlessly negative light. Similarly, they are often harmed by parents who fight their way through divorce and post-divorce/
Do Not Expect Children to Comfort You In Your Pain and Loneliness Over the Divorce
Having your children as your main source of emotional support is not healthy for them. You should be the one comforting them during the divorce. Just remember when it comes to your kids, you must always be selfless. You might be divorced and in the process of a lifestyle change but your children will always be connected to you and your ex-spouse.
Don’t Forget to Spend Quality Time With Your Children
Children need love and attention no matter what is happening with their parents. They should not be pushed aside because someone is having issues in their marriage. This is a good time to do something special with the kids. It may be hard to find the extra money, but there are some inexpensive trips that can be arranged or a small party can be planned. Don’t become so consumed with what is happening to you that you have no time to spend with your children. They really need you now.
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About Grubbs & Landry
At Grubbs & Landry, PLLC, we are dedicated to personal and friendly service. We manage our practice in an ethical, cost-effective manner to best help our clients resolve their legal issues with the least expense possible. We pride ourselves in advocating for our client in divorce, child custody, and child support matters as well as other family law matters. We are active in prosecuting personal injury cases-recovering for the injuries our clients sustain due to the negligence of others. Additionally, we help our clients prepare for the future through the preparation of Wills, Power of Attorney and Living Will.
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