Tag: Divorce

5 Things You Should Never Do To Your Children During a Divorce…

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A divorce is one of the most stressful experiences in a person’s life. It is especially more challenging when children are involved. Children are often the unfortunate victims of a divorce. Usually, they don’t want their parents’ relationship to end. They are worried about what is going to happen to them. Will I have to move? What if Mom or Dad has a new boyfriend or girlfriend? What if they don’t like me? Can I somehow get my Mom and Dad to change their minds? Did I do something to make them get a divorce? Just remember to keep your behavior in check and do what’s best for them. It is often difficult but is very necessary. You want to foster a loving and healthy bond with your children even though you were not able to save your marriage. The following are several things you must not do to your children during divorce you do not want to unintentionally hurt your children.

Do Not Have Your Children “In The Middle” of the Divorce.

You shouldn’t question your child about the activities of the other spouse as a way of gaining ammunition against your “ex” or just because you’re prying. Ask your “ex” directly if you really want to know something. It puts your child in the middle and may make them feel they should lie to the other parent. Your children are not negotiating tools or bargaining chips that you can use to cause harm to your spouse. You should strive not to put them between you and the person you are divorcing. Do not expect your children to handle adult conversations, especially if they aren’t near to adulthood.

Do Not Put the Other Parent Down In Front of the Children

It is never a good idea to talk negatively about the other parent in front of the kids. This is a very difficult rule to follow as many divorcing people are hurt, bitter and angry and want to make sure their soon-to-be former spouse knows they feel this way. It is important not to threaten or antagonize the other parent and not to talk about your issues on social media as this information can be used against you. Just remember talking negatively about your spouse makes your child uncomfortable and sad.

Do Not Pit Them Against the Other Parent

If children are forced to choose sides, it can make co-parenting a complicated and difficult task and make the children feel guilty. Typically, kids benefit from the presence of both parents. They do not benefit—and indeed can be harmed—when one of their parents portrays the other in a relentlessly negative light. Similarly, they are often harmed by parents who fight their way through divorce and post-divorce/

Do Not Expect Children to Comfort You In Your Pain and Loneliness Over the Divorce

Having your children as your main source of emotional support is not healthy for them. You should be the one comforting them during the divorce. Just remember when it comes to your kids, you must always be selfless. You might be divorced and in the process of a lifestyle change but your children will always be connected to you and your ex-spouse.

Don’t Forget to Spend Quality Time With Your Children

Children need love and attention no matter what is happening with their parents. They should not be pushed aside because someone is having issues in their marriage. This is a good time to do something special with the kids. It may be hard to find the extra money, but there are some inexpensive trips that can be arranged or a small party can be planned. Don’t become so consumed with what is happening to you that you have no time to spend with your children. They really need you now.

Contact us (859-341-2500) for a Free Consultation!

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About Grubbs & Landry

At Grubbs & Landry, PLLC, we are dedicated to personal and friendly service. We manage our practice in an ethical, cost-effective manner to best help our clients resolve their legal issues with the least expense possible. We pride ourselves in advocating for our client in divorce, child custody, and child support matters as well as other family law matters. We are active in prosecuting personal injury cases-recovering for the injuries our clients sustain due to the negligence of others. Additionally, we help our clients prepare for the future through the preparation of Wills, Power of Attorney and Living Will.
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How Adultery Can Affect Your Divorce and Possible Alimony…

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Marriages can end when one member of the couple discovers that the other has had an adulterous relationship. How important is the impact of the extra-marital relationship on the divorce itself? Legally, the answer varies from state to state, In Kentucky we have a no-fault state when it comes to divorce, so there are no “divorce consequences” to the act of adultery. The larger question to ask is… did the adulterer use marital assets to support the extra-marital relationship?

When Marital Assets Are Used To Support The Extra-Marital Relationship

These days, adultery rarely has much of an impact on the distribution of assets — except in cases where one spouse has used marital assets to support the extra-marital relationship. For example, if a husband borrows against a marital asset in order to support his mistress, that fact would likely be taken into account in distributing the assets of the marriage. Adultery will not typically affect if a spouse will receive alimony or spousal support, but it may affect how much.

Marital Misconduct and Alimony

While we are a no fault divorce state in Kentucky, meaning you don’t have to have a reason to get divorced, a spouses marital misconduct is considered when it comes to alimony. Misconduct will not affect child custody, or division of assets, it may affect the amount of alimony awarded. If you are the one that was adulterous and also the one that is supposed to receive alimony the judge may award less based on marital misconduct. However if you are the person receiving marital maintenance and your spouse cheated, you may be awarded more. Usually this is case by case situation and not the common outcome.

Always Consult an Experience Divorce Lawyer

For your own benefit, you should consult a qualified lawyer to address your concerns more appropriately. Divorce Lawyers realize divorce is stressful and emotional and they want to help you move through it as swiftly and painlessly as possible. Your best bet is to seek your revenge through being happy without your ex and let his or her conduct find its own punishment without you.

Contact us (859-341-2500) for a Free Consultation!

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About Grubbs & Landry

At Grubbs & Landry, PLLC, we are dedicated to personal and friendly service. We manage our practice in an ethical, cost-effective manner to best help our clients resolve their legal issues with the least expense possible. We pride ourselves in advocating for our client in divorce, child custody, and child support matters as well as other family law matters. We are active in prosecuting personal injury cases-recovering for the injuries our clients sustain due to the negligence of others. Additionally, we help our clients prepare for the future through the preparation of Wills, Power of Attorney and Living Will.
>> Learn More

Who Gets the Pets in a Divorce?

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What if you are getting a divorce and you and your spouse have a pet that you both love? Determining who gets custody or the pet in a divorce can be a devastating and emotional decision.

Determining Pet Custody

Laws are designed to protect the best interests of human children in divorce (allowing for shared custody, visitation, and alimony), the laws for pets are intended to benefit the owner instead. Under the law, pets are considered to be personal property, capable of human ownership and control. Courts working under that law only strictly have the authority to award a pet to one owner or the other. To grant shared custody or visitation of the couple’s pets would be exactly the same, in the eyes of the law, as having them trade their television back and forth from one week to the next. If one spouse adopted the pet before marriage, he or she will retain custody of the pet after the divorce. If the couple adopted the pet together after marriage a judge will consider the unique circumstances to make a decision. Things that may affect who gets the pet include…

  • Who will be living in the family home?  – That could be a big factor. Where each spouse will live after the divorce. Will both of you have a nice yard for the dog? The spouse with the larger home may be the judge’s preference to take the pet.
  • Will one spouse be moving abroad? – Local laws could affect whether you can bring a pet. If one spouse is moving, the judge will probably decide the pet is better suited to live with the other spouse.
  • Who was the pet’s true caretaker? –  Who walked the pet? Who took the pet to the vet? Who shopped for the pet’s food and supplies? Who cleaned up after the pet? He or she may be more likely to receive custody of the pet.
  • The pet’s best interest – The judge will choose the pet parent and home that is best suited for the pet.

Consider Splitting Dog Custody

Creative pet custody arrangements made by the two of you could be the best decision. Come to your divorce hearing with the decision made by the two of you about your pet’s custody. Be flexible and willing to compromise. Maybe one spouse would agree for the other spouse to have custody to keep the pet anytime that the custodial owner is out of town or has a busy week. Or maybe a friendly “dog share” that allows each plenty of time with their beloved pet, one month on, one month off. Of course, the dog must be an easygoing guy who does fine with all the back-and-forth. With a little foresight, and by keeping the best interests of your pet at heart, you can help make the difficult process of divorce a little bit more bearable for the whole family, and everyone will come out happier in the end.

Contact us (859-341-2500) for a Free Consultation!

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About Grubbs & Landry

At Grubbs & Landry, PLLC, we are dedicated to personal and friendly service. We manage our practice in an ethical, cost-effective manner to best help our clients resolve their legal issues with the least expense possible. We pride ourselves in advocating for our client in divorce, child custody, and child support matters as well as other family law matters. We are active in prosecuting personal injury cases-recovering for the injuries our clients sustain due to the negligence of others. Additionally, we help our clients prepare for the future through the preparation of Wills, Power of Attorney and Living Will.
>> Learn More